Sunday, February 28, 2010

This Birthday feels weird.

My birthday is next Saturday...two days before my 4th and final treatment of Adriamycin/Cytoxin. It feels very odd thinking about celebrating when I'm going through all of this.

All week I haven't really felt like eating much, but I have...but nothing seems to settle my stomach. I think I need to get some nice, plain bread for times like these. Luckily, my tastes haven't really changed aside from having no craving for sweets (insane, I know) so I can still enjoy flavor. It does seem to mean, though, that planning a big Birthday outing (like I've done in the past) may not happen. I'm still debating if I'm going to feel well enough to do something the first week of Boston Restaurant Week.

Another thing is that my tooth where I had my root canal is aching. I think it's from a sinus thing, but it's pretty annoying and I really hope that it's not a dental issue because I can't do anything about that until May.

Back to the birthday thing. It feels kind of depressing, to be honest, since I feel like I look like crap and haven't felt that great. Yes, there's a reason, but it doesn't really help. I WANT to feel good for my birthday! I mean, I might, since it's a week away, but it won't be the same. I feel old. I feel like I look old (although the eye cover-up cream helps with that). I feel not-happy. I just want all of this to be done and I don't want to have to deal with it on my freaking Birthday!

Maybe Jack is sensing my current emotional state. He is now sleeping on my lap, hugging me.

7 comments:

  1. I thought so, too! You looked great. If you were wearing eye cover-up cream, I want to know the brand. I couldn't tell at all!

    And we want to celebrate your birthday with you, if and whenever you feel up to it. So just let us know. :)

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  2. I will do whatever you want. I will even cook for you and your friends if you want and they can come over. I can make a stir fry or something if you want. I am sorry your feel not happy. I can understand and I would not feel happy either. I love you and I can't wait to see you. If you don't want to do someting this year do a HUGE bash next year as there will be LOTS to celebrate then. You have many more so if you skimp on this one.. no biggie. I never really do much for my birthday anyway. I made some GREAT carrot cupcakes last night.. I could make those..:) xoxo

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  3. I was going to say we need to celebrate your birthday! Should do something at someone's house so it can be casual.

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  4. It's YOUR birthday. Postpone it or change it to suit your needs. Other than maybe your parents, who's going to argue?

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  5. For what it's worth - I had a terrible sinus infection a couple weeks ago, and the tooth where I had a root canal was so painful (in fact, that side of my mouth was just in horrible pain) that I was convinced that it was an abscess, or something. I had it checked out by a dentist and he said it was fine. I took amoxicillin and the infection went away, and so did the pain! So my thought is: if you typically don't have pain there, it's almost definitely the sinuses and it will clear up. I'm recommending nasal/sinus rinses, now - they do help, even if they're a bit icky.

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  6. Yeah, the tooth is feeling a bit better (although last night it was a little odd). I think part of the problem was that I hadn't flossed so there was some ick stuck there, putting pressure on it...and then some was/is the sinus draining issue.

    I do have a neti pot and I really should be better about using it. Thanks for the reminder!

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