I don't know if the convenience is worth it...

The port still hurts.

Ok, yesterday it was still hurting. Today it's a little better -- still tender, and still very ugly, I went out and bought some turtle-necky tops and such so that one can't see it! It's going to suck in the summer...and with the shows that I'm doing, I'll have to cover it with a band-aid or something. Granted, it's still bruised, which is also pissing me off but I know that I won't be healing as fast as I did before...at least not for a while. I also have to remind myself that it was SURGERY and it was just LAST WEEK! It's just really frustrating because it still feels really tight and whenever the slightest whisper of pressure is placed on the port, I feel it and it's really uncomfortable.

I still have the cough, which is bugging me to no end. I called the ENT and called the oncologist -- the latter said it was ok for me to get an inhaler to get rid of this, if it is indeed the 'Reactive Airways Syndrome' acting up again, which it does feel like. Unfortunately though, the ENT can't see me until Monday afternoon. At least I can get in a couple of puffs before chemo again next week! Hopefully, that's all it will take! I will also ask the ENT about taking anything more for the reflux since the chemo is exacerbating it. I've been taking Zantac for the last few days and it's helped, but he might have other ideas.

I found a masseuse that might have some time...although the dates she mentioned next week wouldn't work. The price seemed comparable and she was recommended by the social worker at the hospital, so I'm game!

Life without Maggie is different -- I can't tell yet if Jack likes being the only cat or not. I don't know if even he knows yet. When I'm home, he cries a lot but he also crawled in my lap three times last night. I think he was also in bed with me for most of the night, granted, it was very cold!

I did get together the stuff I wanted so I could make Maggie's Memorial Shadow Box. The vet had this and I thought it was a really lovely thing! It's a shadowbox frame...divided for two slots, and in one is a picture of the cat, and in the other was the cat's collar. Since Maggie had a lovely collar, I thought it would be a great thing to do! I tried finding what I wanted at Target and The Christmas Tree Shop, but ended up finding the right frame at AC Moore. I bought it, bought some mattes since my photo was a little smaller, bought some velvet and some quilting pins and took off to go home. It took a little bit to get it together the way I wanted, but once it was, oh, it's PERFECT! I got a picture of her that, while it's not the best quality up close, when you look at it from just a foot or two away, it's just fine -- it just has the perfect look and it looks so lovely! I'm really very pleased with it! I'm going to try and put one together for Beau as well if I can find a picture that works. I may even still have his food dish which I would use since he didn't have a collar.

I did realize that since I'm going about with the short hair, when I put the wig on, people are going to question. I guess it won't be too much of a secret then. Oh well. I already told a couple of other people who I don't mind knowing, but I'm sure it'll get around work before too long. A lot of people seem to think that I should consider this as a permanent look. I'll have to see how I feel in a few months :).

ETA: Good news! The genetic test results are in -- it's all negative!! It doesn't explain why I'm going through what I am, but it means that I don't have the genetic mutation that could indicate a greater chance of recurrence of this, or the occurance of ovarian cancer. So this is a good thing!