New stuff...

So, it's been a weekend/week of new stuff, mostly for the apartment!

Yesterday (Tuesday), after sleeping in, Tracie and I went to Costco and a bunch of other places including the North Shore Mall where I bought some tea at Teavana, some make-up to cover up the dark circles around my eyes (thanks a lot, chemo!), and curtains.

Ok, so choosing curtains shouldn't have been so agonizing, but I finally got some pretty grey-purple thermal curtains for the windows behind the sofa...that should hopefully help the draft and the heat and such!

We then watched 'The Duchess' which, while lovely, was kind of depressing. Everyone acted quite well in it.

Today Tracie helped (she mostly did the work) hang said curtains and I need to at some point today or tomorrow get the fixings for some split pea soup since I have a ham bone and such to use.

I also have rehearsal tonight, which will be interesting...I kind of feel blech, but I know I can summon up the energy for rehearsal. I'm actually looking forward to it! I love this music and I can't wait to start working on it. I will be very glad once this 'nausea' chemo part is done. One more treatment!

I'm hoping to go into work tomorrow, at least for part of the day.

3 Down...5 to go...

...but if you look at it by rounds, then I only have one more to go of this Adriamycin and Cytoxin round! One more round of potential nausea! Yay! So, Millie is apparently no longer my nurse (sad) but Karin (I think she spelled her name that way) is very bubbly and really very nice. I asked about the Decadron and she said that if I didn't want to take it I didn't have to as it was really only being used for anti-nausea and the Compazine should be good if I feel I need that too. Hooray! So I'm going to try doing that this time and see how it goes. It was faster than the last time since apparently my blood work is coming back ok because of the Nulasta.

But to go back some:

My sister Deborah, her boyfriend Bill, and my dad were up this weekend for the show. I met them all at Davis and we went to 'Out of the Blue' for dinner as Deborah and Bill requested seafood. Fine by me! I had the monkfish and it was nummy! We then went back to my house for a short time so they could see it and Dad could drop off his luggage before he (Dad) drove them home so I could rest.

Saturday, dad met Bill and Deborah at Harvard Square so I could sleep in and then they picked me up and we went around Davis (Deborah wanted tea -- took her to Teazone and then Diesel - and then she wanted cupcakes so we got half a dozen from Kickass) before going into Boston so my sister could get stuff with a Northface gift card. My dad wanted to go into Best Buy so I went with him and he announced that since I had a birthday coming up, he wanted to buy me a new TV! A Flatscreen TV!!! We looked to see what they had but he decided he wanted to look at Costco too.
We went back to Davis so my dad could get the credit card he left at the restaurant and got a quick dinner at Whole Foods before we drove down to Hyde Park...which was detailed in the previous post, if I recall.

Sunday, dad and I met Bill and Deborah for breakfast at their hotel and then went to Burdick's so they could get some cocoa. After that, we dropped Deborah and Bill off at the airport and Dad and I went to Costco. We were all set to go when he realized that he didn't have the right kind of card! Oops! So I was able to buy the other stuff we got, but couldn't really handle the TV. So we went across the street to Best Buy and found a better deal on an open box...ended up with a 40" Sony Flat Screen! Wow!!!

Tracie came up for this treatment and she came in that afternoon. We took Dad to the T as he didn't want me to drive him in and walked around some and got dinner at Mr. Crepe. When we came back, we packed up and I stayed up rather late because, well, I didn't want to do another round of chemo. We were even a little late getting to the hospital. But it's over and done...and we went grocery shopping, Tracie cleaned some and made me a ham and we watched 'Enchanted' and 'Labyrinth'.

So far, so good...I've been trying to keep food in my stomach at pretty much all times, and am currently eating Saltines so I can have something in my stomach when I take the compazine and go to bed. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be just fine and I need to remember not to take the decadron, but just take the Emend...maybe the compazine if I feel I need it, but I think it makes me sleepy.

It was REALLY weird not packing any music to learn! I don't get 'Pimpernel' stuff until Wednesday and I haven't played through the Wagner, so...I was sort of at a loss. It's weird! Need to get on that.

Well, yay!

So tonight's show went really well! I felt I sang well...everyone sang well...hooray! It probably didn't hurt that I slept in until 11:30am and sort of took it easy today even though I went around town with Deborah, Bill, and my dad. I did nap on Friday which helped...it was interesting though when I was talking to Deborah and said that I was tired and I didn't like it. She said 'I bet you don't like it. You're never tired!' I guess that's it. I'm never really tired...not like I have been. So yeah. My sister sort of hit the nail on the head.

But anyways, I am SO glad that the show went well tonight (we were videotaping it!) and I am SO relieved that my voice behaved (I have no clue what happened last weekend and Thursday!) and I'm kind of relieved that it's done. I loved the experience, I loved doing the show, I loved working with everyone, but I'm glad that I don't have that pressure now. Sure, I have other shows and other music to learn, but this was a HUGE role and a HUGE responsibility and I loved it...but I'm glad I get a little bit of a break now.

That said, I am not looking forward to Monday's treatment. I'm tired of them already...I'm tired of the side effects, I'm tired of having to eat all the time or I'll get sick; I'm not a huge eater in general and it's really frustrating to have to have snacks all around me or I feel like crap. I need to go grocery shopping tomorrow or Monday to get some more stuff as I don't have too many 'snack-like' things and I'm running out of Saltines. I don't know if my tastes have changed other than the fact that I'm not really craving sweets right now. I have a ton of candy and I really just don't want to eat it. Chicken has also been tasting really good of late, as have veggies. But other than that, I sort of don't want to eat too much, but I'm trying to remember to do so no matter what. I need to be better about it day 4 and 5 after each treatment because I think I lapse on those days and it does make a difference. I also need to ask the doctor on Monday about not taking some of the anti-nausea pills because, well, ick. I don't like the 'crash' from the steroids, especially when I am going to have rehearsal or work.

I guess I need to start my Wagner stuff...listen to it or play through it, hopefully next Thursday or Friday. Yeah, I think I'm going to miss 'Cosi'.

So tired...

...and I don't like it!

I don't know if it's part of everything or what...yesterday I went home and took a 2 hour nap on the couch (Jack napped with me) and then apparently couldn't get back to sleep when it was bedtime! So of course, now I'm tired...and I have a show tonight!

Gaah!

I've been drinking tons of water and tea over the last 3 1/2 days and steaming every night...I'm hoping that now that I'm back on the inhaler that it'll help this cough go away.

I honestly don't know what happened last Sunday...I don't know if it was just stress (Saturday was an emotional day), allergies, overuse...what?!? I sincerely hope that this weekend will not be a repeat of last and that I can sing both shows the way I feel I can and should sing them. I hopefully won't have to talk too much tomorrow even though my dad and sister (and sister's boyfriend) will be here in the evening and I'll have my steamer tonight and tomorrow. I can't really tell at this point what is causing the cough, but I know I'm coughing more after taking the mucinex, so maybe there's gunk that needs to come out? Maybe I need to drink MORE water?

Gah.

So now I have the added stress of 'Am I going to get through this weekend?' which I really don't need.

I also need to go grocery shopping before chemo on Monday so that I have enough food to snack on. Last time, I didn't...and sort of felt it. This time, if I have to set a timer every 2 hours, I will!

I've decided that it's more like G.I Jane.

Not that I saw the movie, but Demi Moore could also rock the shaved head (someone also mentioned Sigourney Weaver). I did finally look at it and it's not completely bald...there's still 'stubble'. I do have the splotches of the psoriasis which looks weird, but I'm trying to put some medication on it to hopefully clear it up.

The show yesterday went ok. I wasn't as happy with it because something was going on with my voice -- I had no low and everything felt forced! I hope that it can clear up by Thursday and not ever come back! I'll just need to be more careful this week and not really talk too much if I can help it. But it doesn't feel -too- bad today, just pretty swollen.

I learned how to adjust the wigs so I fixed the theatrical wig yesterday before the show and just fixed the red one today. It's still a little loose, but it feels MUCH better without knots digging into my skull.

Well, I did it.

I got my head shaved today. The falling out was upsetting me so much that I knew I had to do it. So, I called the salon and after meeting Liddy (my sister) and Holly at Davis, my mom and I got some breakfast and we all went down to Newbury Street and shopped. I ended up getting some nice things at Second Time Around (consignment shop) which included a fawn-colored corduroy skirt and a chocolate brown velvet jacket. I also got a new MAC lipstick that I lost. My sister bought me a Jake Scully figurine to take to work and at 5:15 we went to the salon. Holly ended up getting her hair cut as well so she met us afterwards.

I have to say, Salon 10 on Newbury and Patricia Wrixon, the owner, is pretty amazing. I gave her a pair of beaded, fingerless mitts that I made and I think she was rather touched. She was great...she shaved my head then washed my head, and refitted and reset my wig. We then got cupcakes and went home to order dinner in.

I'm hoping that I can get my wig to fit tomorrow for the show...I asked Patricia and she suggested making the straps on the inside smaller which I'll do. I found a needle and thread and will get there a little early to do that. I need to do that as well for the auburn (Titian?) wig.

I'm not going to say that this was easy. It was and still is really hard and I refused to look at myself in the mirror with a shaved head even though my sister and mom assured me that I still looked good. I can't do it yet. I cried...my mom cried...my sister cried...and later my mom said that she was really proud of me because not a lot of people would have the courage to do what I did. I don't know about that, but...maybe. I guess I feel better now that it's done...I was getting kind of tired and grumpy the closer we got to the appointment.

So, I guess that's the big news for today.

So, keep your fingers crossed

...that I can get this gunk off of my cords just fine this evening!!! Gaah! I'm sucking down tea as I write!

So, anyways, I heard back from the shelter and Mama Soleil may not work out as she's also a very dominant personality and may not be too keen on a kitty like Jack. There are a couple other options and I can always wait a little longer too. There's a Petsmart Adoption weekend this weekend and I'm wondering if I dare to go look tomorrow with my family.

My head hurts less today...maybe that's a good thing? I dunno, but hair is still falling out :(. I'm wearing another hat since I need to shower when I go home anyhow.

I don't know if I said this before or not, but I don't really think that it's correct for me to say, when/if people ask, that 'I have cancer'. Technically, it's gone. It was cut out with the lumpectomy and there is nothing left. This is really preventative. I've been saying 'I started chemo' which sort of seems to have the same effect and is more accurate.

I'm also getting kind of pissed off at some of the ladies on the 'Knitters with Breast Cancer' board over on Ravelry. They're very wrapped up in themselves and most are at least 15-20 years older than I am and obviously have different views on things. I actually got chastized when I told one of the women who was starting how I felt after the 'steroid crash' from the Decadron and how this go-round, I decided not to take the Decadron for as long. Heck, the prescriptions were given to me on an 'as needed' basis and while there is a schedule, I don't think that I absolutely have to follow it...I mean, even the nurses said I could end some of the pills early if I wanted to! But these ladies are all 'Check with your doctor! Don't do that! Blah blah blah!' which, I'm sorry, I don't have the time or desire to languish in feeling crappy...which is what happened with that crash! I hated it! At least this time, it wasn't so intense. These ladies are also very reliant on their anti-anxiety medications which, thus far, I have refused to take. I have a prescription but I haven't filled it and I don't intend to. I'm really tempted to just leave the group because I'm finding that they're really not terribly helpful to me.